Women's Waves

Women are like waves. Their self esteem rises and falls in a wave motion. When she is feeling good, she will reach a peak, but then suddenly her mood may change and her wave crashes. This is temporary. After she reaches the bottom, her mood will again shift and she will begin to feel good again and her wave rises.

This is known as "the well", similar to a man's "cave". The sinking feelings include such feelings as unexplained emotions, vague feelings, hopelessness, lack of confidence, feeling alone and unsupported. All of these feelings are normal and temporary.

This cycle is necessary for emotional house cleaning and occurs approximately every twenty eight days. Whilst it is different to a menstrual cycle, it does often sync itself with the menstrual cycle. Without the cleansing, a woman can begin to lose her ability to love and grow. However, once a woman recognises the wave cycle and learns to manage the feelings, she is able to clear some of those long term negative feelings and bounce back quicker.

During the emotional house cleaning, it is most helpful to have a supportive, listening partner, or friend. It is important that that partner understands that the negative emotions that may be being shared, are not necessarily their fault, or directed at them. It is also important that the partner does not try to fix the well, as men have a tendency to do. Trying to fix the problem, or fix the feeling will only encourage a woman to suppress the felling. This inturn, leads to positive feelings also being suppressed.

What a woman needs most at this time, is for someone to listen to her while she shares her feelings, and empathise with her. A wave needs to hit bottom before it can rise again;

Taken from Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus
By John Gray
ISBN: 0-780722 528402
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