Tranform the Frustration

How often have you found yourself in a frustrating situation and before you realise, you have yelled at someone, kicked something, or caused yourself a major headache. In most circumstances, the cause of the frustration is relatively minor and could have been dealt with relatively simply. However, bad reaction habits cause us to react first and think second. Consider forming new habits that will not only assist in making you feel less stressed, but that will also gain you respect from your colleagues and family.

Road Rage

You are running late to work and you find yourself stuck in traffic. Under normal circumstances, you would probably start to curse, bang on the steering wheel and stretch your neck as hard as you can trying to see what the holdup is. Sound familiar? However, this does not change anything, nor does it make the traffic move any faster.

Next time you are sitting in your car and you feel the frustration boiling, change the radio station to a classical, or easy listening station. This simple action not only turns your attention to something else, but it also provides you with a mental shift.

Call ahead to your destination and advise them of your circumstances. Whilst you will still be late, at least now both you and those you are meeting with, will know it. Had you not called ahead, it is likely those waiting for you would have wasted time sitting around waiting and wasted energy as their frustration levels raised, not knowing where you where.

Use the time wisely to review your diary, make notes for the day ahead, make telephone calls (only when you are stationery), or plan the ingredients for dinner that night.

And leave ten minutes earlier the next day.

Workplace Pressure

You are working on a major article that you have forgotten to save in the last ten minutes and your computer suddenly crashing, losing the lot. Your initial reaction is to scream an obscenity at the computer and possibly even hit the screen, but that will not bring back your article.

It is best to face reality, the hard work has been lost and you will need to start again. But before you do, get up from your computer and walk away. Get yourself a glass of water, go to the toilet, or walk around the building. Not only will the breath of fresh air do you the world of good, but the exercise assists the receptors in your brain to calm down and it stimulates your brain cells to produce positive endorphins.

Now return to your desk and quickly jot down some key points and notes while it is still fresh in your head, which will make it easier to rewrite. And next time, hit the save button every five minutes, as opposed to every half an hour.

Similar with the photocopier. What will you achieve by thumping the machine and trying to tear out the paper jam? You may create lots of little pieces of paper that will be harder to remove, or worse, you may even break the photocopier and put it out of action altogether.

Walk away and get a drink. When you have a clearer head and can think more rationally, you will be surprised just how much easier it is to fix the problem, find the jam, or get the piece of paper out intact.

Now before pressing the green start button again, check the paper tray for pages that may have come astray. Maybe even fan the paper before reloading it. Check the paper you are copying from is sitting correctly in the autofeed tray, does not contain staples and is not too thick to go through the feeder. Then press the green start button.

Conflict Management

You are having a fair and reasonable discussion with another person and suddenly the conversation takes a turn for the worst. They have said something to offend you, or you disagree with their point of view. Before you can catch the words as they fly out of your mouth, you have said something equally, or worse, more offending and you are now both arguing, as opposed to discussing. You are both turning red and getting up quiet a sweat. Not to mention, disturbing those around you and possibly even embarrassing yourselves.

Whilst this type of situation is not healthy, increasing the stress levels and raising the heart beat, it can also, in extreme circumstances, lead to violence.

Habits to change behaviour in these circumstances are a little more difficult to master, as emotions get in the way. However, a good start it to stop! Stop talking and count to ten in your head. This will give you some breathing space. Now, focus on your breathing, try to slow it down, breathing through your nose and out of your mouth.

Maybe even clench your fists and then open them again (immediately, so as not to look as if you are about to punch the other person) and wiggle your fingers. This small action moves your brain's focus from the other person and places it on your hand movements.  

Alternatively, think of a trigger word, or song that you can sing in your head to act as a calming tool. In the worst of circumstances, just stop talking and walk away.

Generally, a person reacts to the level of frustration and anger being thrown at them. The adrenaline pumps from the brain to the vocal cords and the words fly fast, hard and loud, which in turn, heightens the frustration of the original person. However, when a person is faced with a calm, quiet response, it takes the heat out of the argument. It deflates the fury and often takes the person by surprise. They realise that they are the only one yelling and so in many circumstances, they return to a normal volume level.

To disengage from the conversation provides you with an opportunity to catch yourself from behaving badly. It enables you to stop and listen to what is being said, to formulate a constructive response and to think rationally.

Hassles are a part of life. Life is not meant to run smoothly, to schedule, or like clockwork all of the time. Not only can frustration cloud your judgement, it can cause you undue stress and sometimes embarrassment. It is also not good for your health.

With life's everyday hassles, why would you want to add to it? Stop, think and act, instead of reacting.

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